Jackie's blog: May 2006

Here's the makeup job. Beautiful

More stories? No Tallulah hasn't suffered facial injuries, that's just her make up job with a little help from Su

Sue, Tallulah and Hannah

Russ on the beach, by Martine

Hey everybody out there in blogworld! I'm Tallulah!

Tallulah on the beach by Martine

Hannah and I on the big carousel as Sea World

Grant and Robert. This came to me via Martine's blog but I don't know it's true origins. I love it, it's beautiful.

Grant McLennan's funeral

I wrote this as a letter to Martine to share with her how I felt the night after Grant's funeral and wake.
It's now a week since we were down there in Brissie and I'm finally getting it together to post this. Haven't posted a written blog entry for so long I'd forgotten my username and password and had to do some wrangling to sort it all out. Maybe this will teach me and I'll make more of an effort to blog some more. Anyway, here's the entry for Grant's funeral.
Back home after a pretty intense Brisbane trip down memory lane.
The funeral was huge, St John's cathedral in the city. So many faces from
old times my brain was already hurting to remember names. I was finding it
really hard to even remember really obvious people's names. Russ and Jamie
and I sat together on one of the side wings facing the alter with a pretty
good view I guess. We all kept sporadically bursting into tears and
consoling each other.
The eulogies were beautiful.
First Sally McLennan, Grant's sister told lots of great stories of their
youth up in Nth Qld as well as some hilarious later ones. One in particular
of Grant on an international tour, uncontactable by Robert or anyone the
night before flying out. They had his ticket and his bed hadn't been slept
in when they checked in the morning so all they could do was go to the
airport without him. Once on the plane Robert hears a message over the loud
speaker "Will Robert Forster please come to the front of the aircraft".
Sure enough there's Grant standing there pleading with the airline staff to
let him on the plane, with his only ID a Go-Betweens album, and him pointing
at the picture and them himself going "see, it's me, Grant McLennan!" The
funny thing was he'd made it past the check in desk, the security staff with
the CD but it was only at the door of the plane they stopped him. And this
was the days after September 11 as well. She described an image of Grant
standing at the pearly gates with a Go-Betweens CD saying see it's me, let
me in!
Robert was next. He spoke of the loss and bewilderment he felt at the
thought of "what would he do with the rest of his life?". He said he heard
Grant say to him the day after he died. Go into the city and find a big
room and think of me. He went into the city and found himself at St John's
during a service. After it was finished during the procession of the
minister and vector leaving the alter and walking through the church and out
he saw the large book of the bible glowing inexplicably and felt it was
Grant leaving. He later found out the funeral was to be held in that
church.
Emma, Grant's girlfriend was the third and last. She spoke of their
absolute love for each other and their appetite for conversation on all
things. They had a favourite song which she recently wrote out for him. He
carried it with him in his wallet all the time. She read it out.

IF YOU GO AWAY
On this summer day
Then you might as well
Take the sun away
All the birds that flew
In the summer sky
And our love was new
And our hearts were high
When the day was young
And the night was long
And the moon stood still
For the night bird song
If you go away , if you go away, if you go away
But if you stay
I'll make you a day
Like no day has ever been
Or will be again
We'll sail on the sun
We'll ride on the rain
We'll talk to the trees
And worship the wind
But if you go
I'll understand
Leave me just enough love
To fill up my hand
If you go away, if you go away, if you go away
If you go away, as i know you must
There'll be nothing left
In the world to trust
Just an empty room
Full of empty space
Like the empty look
I see on your face
Can i tell you now
As you turn to go
I'll be dying slowly
Till your next hello
If you go away, if you go away, if you go away,
But if you stay
I'll make you a night
Like no night has ever been
Or will be again
I'll sail on you smile
I'll ride on your touch
I'll talk to your eyes
That i love so much
But if you go
I wont cry
For the good has gone from the world
goodbye
If you go away, if you go away, if you go away, if you go away

The service also had readings (Adele and Ian Haug), and plenty of prayers
and a couple of hymns. Pretty traditional Anglican.
When the pall bearers carried the coffin from the church it was soo sad.
There was absolute silence.....then, the silence was broken by a sudden Do
do do do doo
yep, the Monkees, I'm a Believer. So Grant.
Russ and I sat for ages unable to face going outside. Then we lit a candle,
said a few words and left.
Caught up with lots of people outside then Jamie and Russ and I bought some
beers and walked along the river walk that now goes past our old Julius St
house.
We sat down right outside Grant's old room and drank beers and remembered
funny stories about our time in the house together. Like when Grant went
downstairs to his room one day to find a carpet snake curled up beside his
bed....he hated snakes.
It was a great thing to do and by the time we arrived at the Powerhouse we
were in a better mood than when we'd left the church. Something to do with
the beers maybe, and talking and talking.
The wake was like a big party, as they are, only you can't help waiting for
the guest of honour to arrive. We drank Long Island Iced Teas all night (on
the record company's tab mind you) - thanks very much. There were so many
familiar faces I wouldn't know where to begin to list them. Had some great
hugs and drunken raves with lots of old friends and made all sorts of
promises about staying in touch and I'm sure some of us will.
We ended up at Ric's - of course. Had a couple of pizzas at Fat Boys and
stood around the bar with countless others all having the same flash back
experiences
about sitting on the stool at the end of the bar, next to Grant.
And we'll never have those experiences again.
It's unbelievably sad and I don't think any of us will ever really come to
terms with the loss of someone so dear to us.
It was great to go to Brisbane for a night but what a terrible reason to go
there. I think it will be a while, if ever, til we make it back to the
Valley. Doesn't have the same feel anymore.
It was one big farewell, and as Jamie kept saying, we just kept feeling like
Grant would be turning up any minute.